A Series of Unexplained Events: Organs Shifted

It started with reading a blog post about taking responsibility for your life. I was stressed, so stressed my body had spontaneously decided to be allergic to sulphites. So stressed, I wasn't sleeping more than 3.5 hours a night, all while experiencing nightly anxiety attacks.

I was angry at the lack of control in my life, I was angry at my then boyfriend sinking me into a failing home renovation, angry about the loss of time I had invested into the renovation, I was angry about the amount of money I'd sunk into the house, I was angry about the loss of opportunity to have done something (anything) other than renovate this forsaken renovation. Let's surmise that I was plain old angry.

And then I read that blog post, and the writer explained that I had made choices, and I had the choice about how I decide to react to situations. I was in the mode of blaming others and external situations. Which made me feel like I had no control over things happening to me. And upon reading this post, more than a penny dropped. I was lying on the floor at the time of reading this post, and I felt my organs drop. Physically shift from one position to another position. No, it wasn't a violent burp or fart. I was fully awake and my organs physically moved.

At that moment, I realized I had a choice the whole time. I had the choice to not invest more money. I had the choice to stop working on the renovations. I had a choice to pursue something else to do. I also had the choice of how to react and how to communicate clearly what it was I wanted. I had put the proverbial noose around my own neck. So I too could take the noose off. And as a result of that epiphany, I experienced a shift... a physical shift... due to an intellectual realization.

I'm not talking about not blaming things for happening. If nature decides to send buckets of rain down, by all means, I can blame nature for raining. If someone shouts abuse towards me, by all means, I can blame them for shouting abuse. But what I take responsibility for is how I choose to respond to those situations, and how I choose to feel about those situations.

So started the beginning of strange or hard-to-explain things happening to me when pennies started to drop for me and my awareness of self and spirit began.